I stumbled across your picture today,
I could barely Breathe„
The moment stopped me cold, and grabbed me like a theif.
I dialed your number, but you wouldn’t be there.
I knew the whole time, but it’s still not fair.
I just wanted to hear your voice..
I just needed to hear your voice..
What do I do with all I need to say?..
So much I want to tell you everyday..
Oh It breaks my heart..
I cry these tears in the dark.
I write these letters to you,
But they get lost in the moon„
‘Cause there’s no address in the stars. <3

Although that song has to do with someone being in heaven..
I heard it for the first time this morning, and I fell in love with it..
I’m struggling lately, with alot.

Work- Just horrible.   Maybe it’s just me, I’m not sure.   But I can’t stand rude people. Rude people, who are RUDE to me. For no reason, no reason at all.   I’m a hard worker, and I get my shit done.   But when people want to stand around talking, playing with their cell phones & daydreaming, rather than helping out where they could be useful, just really pisses me off.    If I’m not busy, I’m right there to help the next person who is.    Noone wants to help me, but the minute they get a few orders, they are begging for help..   It takes every ounce of my strength to go and help, because what I would really like to do, is give them a big “fuck you”. How does it feel to need help?..   Ugghh„  I do have my good days though.  Only when I work with my few favorite!! =)

Michigan-  Hah, you may think I’m missing Michigan itself, but its definitely not that.  I miss My babysister. She’s growing up more and more everyday, and although she’s 18, and i’ve only been gone for a few months„ I feel like i’ve missed so much already.  She has her first job, and she lives on her own..  It scares me to think of how fast that 18 years went by, I can only imagine how my parents are truely feeling.
   I’m also missing my brother. And ohhh boyy..   My brother is proposing to his girlfriend. Gah, I never thought the day would come. Nick has always been the immature little fagg! haha„   But he’s serious about it. And I’m soo happy for him.  It’s also possible he might have a baby on the way„ eeeekk!!.. no, no, no!!! haha.. He’s currently living with my sister and her boyfriend for now. And knowing that, makes me miss them even more..   I may be living with our parents, but they get to live with eachother.. and I just wish I could be there with them!   I wish we all could be living in the same house TOGETHER!! The family, again.   But that wont happen, so i need to get that thought out of my head.
  I miss my best friend more and more everyday..   I didn’t think it would be this hard. But it is.  I talk to her everyday, and cry, everyday.   I miss having her down the road, driving late at night. Getting the cops called on us, and just blankly stairing at the cop in the face with my mouth hung open, because I was baked out of my mind.  I miss telling her we need to go pretend we’re asleep so we don’t get in trouble.. and her just laughing in my face„ hah..      I miss so much about her.  Her baby girl is growing up so fast, and everyday i talk to her on the phone, and she sounds older everyday.   I heard her say the word ‘bitch’ for the first time day.  A year old, and she’s using the word ‘bitch’„ I just about died laughing!!  She’s adorable..  But what really breaks my heart is when she kisses the phone and says “I Wooove Youu!”..   makes me cry every single time.

I’ve had this crazy Idea lately, to hop on a plane and go back. But then I think about how when i get there, I’ll want to be back here with My parents again. It sucks. I wish we could all just meet in the middle and live there together, Forever!

The subject noone ever thought I would bring up again, has finally come up..
I miss him.  simple as that.    Lately, it’s all i’ve thought about.. All the amazing times we had, even when we weren’t dating.  The lake- Holds all the memories we have.  I miss you. I miss us. I miss the times we had together!
   But I’m holding myself back, I’m not taking the next step to call.  I can’t have that right now..
     I Love you. Always&&Forever.

xoxo